Jenna, I wanted to stop by here and say thank you so much for your comments you left me this week on my Introduction post for my storybook. I always find constructive comments to be helpful in realizing things that I might have left out or forgotten to include in my story. You pointed out that my title is not inclusive of all parts of my story which I totally did not realize until you had said something. So thank you for taking the time to read through my introduction and provide me constructive feedback.
Hi there! I read your story "Guns for Hands" this week! Can I just say, WOW? That was such a great story! You have to be my favorite storyteller this semester haha. I love the way that you took only one aspect of the Mahabharata and essentially spun it into an entirely new one, yet keeping the essence of that part. This really motivates me to write better and more creative stories. I also didn't detect any grammar issues in your writing. I also liked that you italicized words in the dialogue to basically emphasize the words. The scene changes using the *** was a good touch as well. I am so impressed with this. I can't wait to read your other story next week! I wish I had some suggestions to throw at you, but you really knocked it out of the ballpark with this. Keep being an amazing writer!
Hi, Jenna! I really liked both your “What Comes Around” and “Guns for Hands” stories. You have a great writing style that definitely attracts readers in curiosity and suspense. For your first story “What Comes Around,” I like the modern concept of reincarnation and karma in students and also combining it with Ramayana. I think you did a great job in looking at one small detail of an original story and blowing it up to make a fantastic version of your own. For your story “Guns for Hands,” my attention was immediately drawn by your imagery and vagueness of the opening scene. I was very interesting throughout, and was surprised by how you could come up with everything based on things in Mahabharata that I completely skipped over. You definitely did an amazing job on this story as well. The only issue I had with both stories was the spacing. It seemed like there was an excessive amount of spacing between ideas and sentences when some of them can be combined to one paragraph. It’s fine if you create a new line for new dialogue, for emphasis, or for an entirely new idea, but if you do it for a lot of your sentences, it takes away from the main story.
Jenna, I wanted to stop by here and say thank you so much for your comments you left me this week on my Introduction post for my storybook. I always find constructive comments to be helpful in realizing things that I might have left out or forgotten to include in my story. You pointed out that my title is not inclusive of all parts of my story which I totally did not realize until you had said something. So thank you for taking the time to read through my introduction and provide me constructive feedback.
ReplyDeleteHi there! I read your story "Guns for Hands" this week! Can I just say, WOW? That was such a great story! You have to be my favorite storyteller this semester haha. I love the way that you took only one aspect of the Mahabharata and essentially spun it into an entirely new one, yet keeping the essence of that part. This really motivates me to write better and more creative stories. I also didn't detect any grammar issues in your writing. I also liked that you italicized words in the dialogue to basically emphasize the words. The scene changes using the *** was a good touch as well. I am so impressed with this. I can't wait to read your other story next week! I wish I had some suggestions to throw at you, but you really knocked it out of the ballpark with this. Keep being an amazing writer!
ReplyDeleteHi, Jenna! I really liked both your “What Comes Around” and “Guns for Hands” stories. You have a great writing style that definitely attracts readers in curiosity and suspense. For your first story “What Comes Around,” I like the modern concept of reincarnation and karma in students and also combining it with Ramayana. I think you did a great job in looking at one small detail of an original story and blowing it up to make a fantastic version of your own. For your story “Guns for Hands,” my attention was immediately drawn by your imagery and vagueness of the opening scene. I was very interesting throughout, and was surprised by how you could come up with everything based on things in Mahabharata that I completely skipped over. You definitely did an amazing job on this story as well. The only issue I had with both stories was the spacing. It seemed like there was an excessive amount of spacing between ideas and sentences when some of them can be combined to one paragraph. It’s fine if you create a new line for new dialogue, for emphasis, or for an entirely new idea, but if you do it for a lot of your sentences, it takes away from the main story.
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